Surreal Weekend 1 - Journey of Faith

Who knows what's gonna pop up in life? Nobody! Only God knows. And God is good. He's an awesome God!

So after seeing my previous angry and mad-at-everything-everyone posts, one might thought I'd never see daylight here. Or that was what I thought... But praise the Lord! He is good!

I couldn't thank Him enough for His arrangement for me. Although to some, especially some saints, it might seem that I am chasing after worldly things... But all throughout this journey, I felt, I was really trusting on Him.

Firstly, leaving campus and jaunting alone to the heart of the city, I had friends advising me against it. A complex place Bukit Bintang area is. Piercing stares at vulnerable looking targets and I am definitely in that target as gullible as I am. To make it worse, my navigation skills are at the top of the list...in reversal.
Then having an 8 pm show, predicted by the time the session ends, it would be late. Impossible for me to travel alone back to hostel, like it or not, I need to find an accommodation. So I hooked up with Joy, a friend I've met online, and we've known each other for years. Now, who says we can't trust cyber friends? Fandom friends are the best!

I know you must've started thinking how foolish I am and what a foolish thing I'm doing. Only words exchange through social media sites and texts, Facebook photos and had never met. An idea of a lunatic! Especially with all the cases happening in the world, I still am so naive to put my safely out there, risking to meet them.

Of course I had my doubts, if not I wouldn't have these sentences, they had been in my head since the beginning. Consulted my friends, my sister... My worries were shown. Was at the verge of giving up on seeing them. But prayer became my courage... Plans were that after the event, I would follow her home, which coincidentally was the week she goes back to her parents place, is where I shall spend the night. I prayed to the Lord that I'd be in good hands, His and theirs... I had nothing else but faith.. I've never felt so vulnerable. I only had Him.

Now, doubts and worries aside, it was really a blessing how it happened. It was a lazy night where I was taking my zillionth break from my books and reaching for the phone, I chanced upon a giveaway contest by KAvenyou. '25 fastest fingers to share the event photo and tag KAvenyou' wins. I'd never expect myself to be in the fastest 25. Especially not after the slow loading and KAvenyou's status update 'We've found our 25 winners just within 5 minutes!' which was updated 10 minutes ago... What chances do I have? Nevertheless, I still checked out the winners' list out of curiosity. And there I am, number 21 if my memory serves me well... OH WOW! I've won a pair of tickets to see 3rdwave's Ignite Kpop Charity Concert 2012! I was shocked! And surprised! And excited! How could I not be? I'd be meeting Brian Joo and Alexander!!!

It was just surreal.. =)

Numb

I've been suppressing emotions physically for so long till I feel so foreign to tears. There are times when you let it flow to keep your sanity but I can't even do it now. I envy the girls in dramas where their tears flow as they like. My eyes are just dry. Even with stimulation. Even when my heart is in a confusing mess.
I'm stuck in this numb stupor.

KKB Bakti Siswa - The Awesomest Thing Ever

Imma be REAL frank in this post.. I ain't gonna sensor no shit I'm sayin. Been holding back and biting my tongue for too long. You've fuckking crossed the fuckking line.

First things first. For all you know, a wedding comes only once for a person. Unless you with your 'hak keistimewaan' can do it for another three fucking times. So normally, we only do it once. And I had to miss this witnessing fucking FOREVER!!!!

Now, when you say that Bakti Siswa (baksis) is compulsory for Kokurikulum Berkredit (KKB), I respect your words although we're doing shit during that precious three hours on a Saturday. Kemahiran Insaniah to be taught in a classroom like Moral Studies-does nothing to us expect wasting time. That's just NOT the ways to be teaching these stuffs..! I'm not even sure if these stuffs can be thought like that...

Then I just HAD to be slotted in this class where the megaproject involves going out...FAR.. You couldn't man up and set the date so you had dates changing back and fro. First I thought I had to miss my mid-sem break for this... Well, of course I was glad when I get to go home, but I had my mind prepared to go without! Such mental preparations aren't easy to make for someone as green as me.

Due to this, I couldn't make LOADS of my decisions. Libra are fickle folks but NOT to this extent! I had to keep saying 'hold that spot for me, I can't confirm yet' and shit like that. I've got to tell the bride you know! They have to fuckking plan for how things are gonna go!

The most pathetic thing is that we don't even have a fuckking approval yet! WHATDAFAK!!! So tell me, if eventually we still don't have that approval, are we gonna man up and go ahead or be that fuckking headless chicken and cancel the whole fuckking thing??!!

... ... ...

Well, atleast someone could have warned me I'd have no life for one semester before I sign up for this shit.

M&Ms peace out,
Denise

Depressing

Depressing is when my non-existant waist becomes bulging.. Not a pretty picture...I know.

Am I....?

Am I a lousy friend?
Am I a complainer?
Am I a hub of negative energy for you?
Am I... ...that lousy?
Just, am I?

I am critical.
I am a perfectionist.
I am annoyingly vocal at negative stuffs.

But, I am just shy.
I am just trying to protrct myself.
I am just not letting my emotions flow.

This is my hide... ...I'm just trying to protect myself.

Deserted Dorm

Alone in the dorm room
Doing nothing in particular.
Should be selling those assignments,
But with a head on drugs,
I don't think it's possible.

The best thing about a deserted dorm is the internet speed.
It's not lighting fast but hey, ahead I can see you.

This is a terrible poem
But fuck this shit,
I'm sick!

triple cheers?

Hip-hip-hurray for uni life. Yay. -_-