tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68110282525344762852024-02-20T20:31:00.949+08:00thenizemy solitude, none understood...Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-35785109486507562002014-04-07T22:50:00.001+08:002014-04-07T22:50:49.665+08:00worthlessmy blog is bad. <br />
the language is bad.<br />
the content is bad.<br />
<br />
my thoughts aren't all that good.<br />
it's all bad.<br />
shitDenisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-64472505235655678822014-01-12T01:40:00.000+08:002014-01-16T11:32:30.566+08:00*no cheesy title*(written; 9 January 2014; 12.34am)<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
this marks the end of third semester. Though I write prematurely but let's not let inspiration slip away again.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"[Though] I might not have pass all my tests but I love literature and all the things it had taught me." - Denise, 9 January 2014</blockquote>
I put this up in Twitter and I love it. So I thought I should put it up somewhere else too.<br />
<br />
Third semester had been a hair pulling semester and, believe me, I HAVE lost many strands. Apart from my seemingly thinner mane, this semester has brought me to highs that aspired me more and lows that I could never phantom will befall me. Naive.<br />
<br />
This semester showed me the many characters of people and the multiple faces of mine; how rage could be so destructively empowering, killing slowly from the inside and ruining friendships on the outside. it showed me the importance to have faith in God, and the need to decrease the love for self and especially self pride. It showed me how high grades backed up with faith in God proved its strength rather than self pride and effort.<br />
<br />
Moreover, this semester taught me more about myself. How my past reality are blurry as if I am unsure if that really happened or is it an imagined reality of mine. I have spent too much time dwelling in my head, an unreliable 1st person narrative, as in Jane Eyre, my account could be extremely biased. most of these are of my childhood. My fights with my sister, how she would always win and be in favour of the parents, however, I might be the bully, always picking up fights. These, I could not firmly put a hold on who's right or wrong; am I always the victim as I perceive or she the victim of my bully? I admit, I was malicious, incredibly mean and full of spite. I have no idea why I was such an angry kid though. I grew up in a providing family, in the company of two other siblings, playing "Denise the Menace" and "Denise in the Middle" (sorry for the terrible referencing, though, it was fun playing those). Of course, I've witnessed family dramas as had been televised in every household, but somehow, compared to my siblings, I was exceptionally scarred. I do not feel them and they do not empathize me. Maybe that's how I ended up choosing a road different from theirs. Guess I could say I'm pretty romantic. Heh.<br />
<br />
Anyway, after having deviated to far, my intention, as I aspire to be a writer, someday, to find something great and wonderful enough to speak at a TED event, my intention is to record, a habit used by many: nation leaders, entrepreneurs, great thinkers, writers... This "recording" would serve as a reminder, a motivation, a source of inspiration, materials for future works or even materials for an autobiography, or a biography! This would also be a good practice. 750 words a day, or 3 pages, to practice.<br />
<br />
It's 1.26am after a long day with no rest, the voice has changed and I've strayed far from my original motive. Before I end, I, again, would like to re-emphasize that I love literature and what she taught me. This is a start of a beautiful journey and I look forward to pushing on.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />Music might have saved my life but,<br /> Literature taught me.<br /> <br /></blockquote>
Signing off, <br />Denise<br />
1.31am, 9 January 2014<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
</blockquote>
Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-64492798297286681182013-12-28T12:22:00.000+08:002013-12-28T12:22:21.796+08:00footprints in the sandIn the red sunset<br />
Walking hand in hand<br />
My white dress and your black suit<br />
Laughter in the salty air<br />
Leaving footprints in the sand.<br />
<br />
Between white satin sheets<br />
Waking next to you<br />
Fiery passion of the morning <br />
The warmth of our embrace<br />
Leaving footprints in the sand.<br />
<br />
Then a stork passed by and<br />
All was joy but<br />
Till one day,<br />
A fight broke.<br />
It wasn't just about two any more.Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-84888950301810321322013-12-28T12:21:00.002+08:002013-12-28T12:21:27.899+08:00Mad hatter: Mad about hats!Of many things that I keep tabs on, <b>hats</b>, nowadays, has raised to the top of my obsession list.<br />
<br />
My current obsession would be <b>bowler hats</b>!<br />
The indecisiveness of a Libra, I couldn't bring myself to choose between the plain ones or the ones with a moulded cat ear. Like a fad, the cat ears might come and go. And not to forget, the colours. My top picks would be black and burgundy. Or maybe camel or ivory. Not to forget, i can't decide to actually get it or not.<br />
<br />
Cash or product.<br />
Choose one style.<br />
Pick one colour.<br />
<br />
I am not rich. I can't have multiples of the same item.<br />
<br />
<br />
And I have no idea why am I composing this when I should be reading. And my English is bad. And I do feel bad.<br />
<br />
(Self bashing on the internet. Bravo Denise, Bravo)Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-34684430200017517892013-11-09T15:08:00.002+08:002013-11-09T15:13:42.150+08:00Hobnobbly HiddlesI have to admit, that along with the rest of the internet, I too, have jump on the Tom Hiddleston bandwagon. *giggles* Such charming eyes and smile he's got hasn't he?<br />
<br />
Now, the reason I'm writing this is due to this little argument I have, with myself, in my head: is Tom Hiddleston really the bad guy people say he is? and I shall call him Hiddles from nows on.<br />
<br />
Hiddles play Loki in 3 Marvel movies. Loki's the God of Mischief. He's the antagonist, although not main. Bad guy. I get it, Loki's the bad guy. But, is Hiddles the bad guy too?<br />
<br />
Hiddles plays Loki, folks like Loki, Loki's got Hiddles' face because Hiddles plays Loki! After all that equation people get Hiddles a bad boy that women loves? I mean, I'm terrible at math but after all that equating, they come to that conclusion? That's terrible mathematics folks.<br />
<br />
I personally, don't like Hiddles because he's the "bad boy that women loves". I like him because he's a nice guy. I think he's a really nice person. I've seen him in a few interviews <i>(and in fandom, that means the whole internet) </i>and he's lovely! He's the perfect blend of charm, kindness, wit and fun <i>(and probably a few more characteristics and adjectives to throw in there but I'll just stop at four.)</i><br />
<br />
First off, Hiddles is trained classically. He knows his Shakespeare and he is passionate about these 'boring old stuffs' too! No bad boy like these kinda stuff, they think they're too tough! I might be slightly biased cause I'm a lit major but he knows what he's talking about. He even made references to the theories! It's like revision when I'm looking at him. (I'm Asian. It's all about CGPAs on this side of the world.)<br />
<br />
Next, he is quick and funny. Witty. Smart. And have fancy words up his sleeves too. Effortless for him to describe, which makes him funny, and smart, and the circle goes on.<br />
<br />
Then, his laugh.<br />
<br />
And, he is kind, and gentlemanly. He knows his etiquette.<br />
<br />
Last but not, he loves tea! I love tea too! (Can I get a high5?) And from here he goes on talking about HobNob with a string on delicate yet beautiful descriptive words.<br />
<br />
In conclusion, he's a nice guy.<br />
<br />
<br />
This is probably a more absurd equation to prove Hiddles' a nice guy.<br />
<br />
<br />
And this is silly, you know I wrote this post for the sake of writing about Hiddles.<br />
<br />
<br />
Edit:<br />
You know, after all that, I forgot my original intention of writing this. I wanted to say that Hiddles made Loki his and him and to some extent, Hiddles is bad too, Loki's Hiddles' alter ego.<br />
<br />
Confusing? I've confused myself too. Refer to last sentence above "Edit". There you go. Byes.Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-5630822942127847082013-10-22T09:56:00.001+08:002013-10-22T09:56:11.591+08:00What are Dreams made of?<p>if dreams are <br>
secret desires, hidden <br>
and ignored <br>
by the conscience<br>
due to society's<br>
comformity,<br>
then, I<br>
still<br>
want you.</p>
Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-56571186626208545462013-10-21T21:23:00.001+08:002013-10-22T20:24:32.096+08:00I remember: MorningsI remember the days<br />
Where 5 slept in one room.<br />
5.45 the alarm sound<br />
Its shrill and urgent call.<br />
I continue to log,<br />
In annoyance, in pretense,<br />
In desperste attempts,<br />
To not depart Dreamland.<br />
<br />
The rustle of linen and<br />
A gentle voice,<br />
A gentle nudge,<br />
"Jasper, Denise, Kerry,<br />
It's time for school.<br />
Wakey, wakey."<br />
Would be his usual call.<br />
<br />
On special occasions,<br />
Verbally, he would<br />
Plan out our future,<br />
What he envisioned of us.<br />
<br />
"You will leave high school,<br />
Graduate from university,<br />
Wear that square hat,<br />
And that business suit,<br />
And the veil..."<br />
That was mine.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
I remember the days<br />
Where pots and pans clank,<br />
Before day break.<br />
Earlier than the birds,<br />
Or the Sun,<br />
Breakfast was on its way.<br />
<br />
The last clank of the pots and<br />
A gentle call,<br />
A gentle reminder,<br />
"Jasper, Denise, Kerry,<br />
Eat your breakfast.<br />
If not you'll be hungry.<br />
Would be her usual nag.<br />
<br />
On special occasions,<br />
Diligently, she would<br />
Lay our morning meal,<br />
Our ultimate nemesis, Eggs.<br />
<br />
"You will eat them and<br />
It will be good<br />
For your brain,<br />
Your memory..."<br />
While we struggle to swallow.Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-83148835373820705632013-10-21T21:10:00.001+08:002013-10-21T21:11:02.163+08:00Prose of Gay<p>Once I tried to write a prose of gay,<br>
Not of bliss,<br>
But of love,<br>
But after the first page it was nay.</p>
<p>Cause they made eyes mist,<br>
Not of joy,<br>
But of loathe,<br>
When the boys kiss.</p>
<p>"Love is beautiful"<br>
People said.<br>
Feeling mirthful,<br>
When they mate.</p>
<p>Yet when mates of<br>
Same sex comes together,<br>
They become bitter and<br>
It is a put off, taboo.</p>
Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-51956333341723721372013-10-16T23:06:00.003+08:002013-10-16T23:06:31.894+08:00unknown knowinghow well do you know me?<br />
how well do i know myself?<br />
<br />
*smile*Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-7980377489013513802013-09-29T18:38:00.002+08:002013-10-16T23:07:03.526+08:00AloneBy the window I sat,<br />
Watching as people passes.<br />
Locked in this room,<br />
My solitude, none understood.<br />
<br />
Housing my fears,<br />
An aiding hand never given.<br />
Exterior appearances should not be trusted,<br />
As the smile I wore is not true.<br />
Running away does not solve,<br />
The ultimate enemy is me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
This is a poem I wrote years ago, probably form 5 or in the form 6s. I wrote this as an analysis while I was tackling my issues. Sound tad crude, but I don't wanna change it. Let it be. This was me.Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-27574673552845092632013-09-28T00:03:00.000+08:002013-09-28T00:03:02.556+08:00what I didI deleted my past blog posts.<br />
That's what I did.<br />
Some pretty awesome stuffs...<br />
They went too...<br />
Guess I was pretty brave...<br />
Or just really stupid.<br />
<br />
<br />Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-51510780986695194902013-09-06T17:06:00.003+08:002013-09-06T17:07:30.261+08:00Back to Your RootsWe live in a fast pace world. Things change without us noticing. We change.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When we reach success, save it as a checkpoint and go back to your roots. Reflect. Reminisce. Moving forward is good but looking back once in a while keeps you humble, grounded. Too much success drowns.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
They say adolescence and young adulthood is confusing, that you don't find yourself till 30 or late. Well, I think childhood IS you. Adolescence and young adulthood is you trying to adapt to society, difficult because you are trying to filter what you like and what you don't, but what you don't like might just be the very thing they're trying to instill into us; and when you reach it, it is society in you and you are far from the original you.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Are you conformed or are you still you?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
P.S. Change is good but change for a better you; not be molded by others.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Stay rooted,</div>
<div>
Denise</div>
Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-3871222555524004012013-08-19T12:04:00.001+08:002014-04-07T22:22:50.053+08:00WisdomWhat I ignored of my mom, I heard it from the older brothers these days... and it struck me, I had been living my life like crap.<br />
<br />
"You reap what you sow..."<br />
<br />
It's about time I change...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Elle me dit</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Qu'est-ce tu fous sur Internet ?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Ca va pas bien dans ta tête</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Regarde le temps que tu perds</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Pourquoi tu gâches ta vie?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Elle me dit_</i><i>Mika</i></div>
Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-57244321395900734612013-05-17T00:24:00.001+08:002013-05-21T01:58:53.392+08:00A Reaction<p>As I replay past conversations in my head, this particular exchange struck me and I ponder what caused this reaction and why. Now, hear me out:</p>
<p>A coursemate was struggling in our course and was comtemplating on a switch. While it might or might not be a successful transfer, she draws out a Plan B: to drop out and learn a skill; preferably in the field of nail art and daint beauty.</p>
<p>Now, what caught my attention in my memories was that I was shocked at such a bold statement and there were a conscious effort to control my expression and picking carefully words of my reply. Why was there an effort to control my expression and words? Why am I shocked? Why did it caused such aa reaction?</p>
<p>You see, I come from a family whose parents, I believe, to be a tad traditional. Hereby I mean children are put under high expectations, study hard, graduate and a job with a good pay which will give you a reputation and aquaintances of similar status. Sort of like in the Elizabethan Era and Victorian or any other society. Except class movement are a little less rigid. Upward moves are allowed, providing that the individual is willing to sacrifice time, youth, joy and sunshine to get to the top. On top of that, I'm chinese. So it will be like 'little Denise, you have to study hard and honour our family name'. Well, not literally, my parents don't say that, but, you get my idea...</p>
<p>Dropping out from school and suppressing surprise. Why? I am well aware of people, although most are of above average intelligence, dropping out of school and be successful. Well, success is an objective and vague term. Some may argue the defination of success. So let me rephrase, folks dropping out of school and making fortune. There! It's money again. The people of this age is so materialistic that at the end of the day, money is the main issue again. </p>
<p>I guess that's what cause that reaction. A skill, especially in nail art, it seems just...so...basic payed on the surface. Without the multiples of clients a day and whatnots. What was installed in my head since young was that only good education will bring you furthur. Sure, good education adds boosts to our leaps, but skills, it solidifies our steps. We might not go about bounding and leaping with skills, but it's like a solid ground beneath every step. Isn't it?</p>
<p>If you ponder on it, books and skills, books are just words and theories--far from real life; and skills are, well, skills! Readily applicable in the occupational world! Isn't it?</p>
<p>Well, my hypothesis (if I may put it this way) and deductions might not be most agreeable, but it is open for debate. I'm a person of books and word-for I major in literature, a subject of fantasy and disregarded by many, (I've seen their scrunched expression upon recieving the knowledge, so, I know) so yeah! Leave some words!</p>
<p>Cheers,<br>
Denise</p>
Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-10237286523755882662013-04-05T21:17:00.000+08:002013-04-09T21:18:48.784+08:00Respect the Boundary<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are two things I am absolutely very sensitive about
right now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ONE. My hair. Especially when the natural curls are out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TWO. My recent failed Korea trip.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Any mentions of these that I find insulting, watch our
relationship turn sour.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you were me, you’d know how my natural curls gave me a
really bad time during my late high school period. The curls are in my genetics
and therefore, I am programmed to be sensitive about it. Nuff said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, regarding my failed Korea trip, there’s a lot more
behind it…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyone who knows me knows that I SHIP this land of plastic
surgery. The announcement of the Korea trip sent me over the moon. I worked
hard researching and planning the tour itinerary, learn how to expect the harsh
Korean winter, learning the basic tourist Korean, food, transport, shopping,
etc. It was my first time; planning and visiting Korea.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I spent my December and January reading up on all those
information. KTO, blogs, yahoo answers, Youtube, more blogs… But there’s only
so much I can know and remember. How does one be fully prepared for something
she never experienced before? I do not have much guidance except from the
internet. Tonnes of information but vague… Extremely vague. “Winter is harsh
and cold in Korea.” How cold is cold? And how harsh is harsh? I watched in
Running Man that they shivered in the bitter cold wind but how cold is it? “-16<!--[if gte msEquation 12]><m:oMath><i
style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-family:"Cambria Math","serif";
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<v:stroke joinstyle="miter">
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<v:path gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" o:extrusionok="f">
<o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit">
</o:lock></v:path></v:stroke></v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" style="height: 15pt; width: 4.5pt;" type="#_x0000_t75">
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</v:imagedata></v:shape></span><!--[endif]-->celcius” Look sister, I come from a tropical country
of Malaysia and all my life, all that I’ve seen were sun and rain. The coldest
I’ve ever felt would be when the air conditioning was set to the lowest
temperature and that probably would be 18<!--[if gte msEquation 12]><m:oMath><i
style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'><span style='font-family:"Cambria Math","serif";
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin'><m:r>°</m:r></span></i></m:oMath><![endif]--><!--[if !msEquation]--><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-text-raise: -4.5pt; position: relative; top: 4.5pt;"><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" style="height: 15pt; width: 4.5pt;" type="#_x0000_t75">
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</v:imagedata></v:shape></span><!--[endif]-->celcius? Thick padded windbreakers and white winter
wonderland was all I had in mind. And thoughts can’t be felt by the skin.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seoul’s subway system was amazing… …-ly complex. It was
efficient. But complex. In Malaysia, KL, we have our commuters, monorails,
LRTs. It is okay, can’t say it is bad, but I bet the upstairs people are
“trying” to improve things. Our rail systems, it is funny. Well, they are not
interlinked. To change commuters to LRTs, we have to change station. It is
pathetic. Nuff said. So when I got my hands on a Seoul subway map, imagine the
shock. Saw it a gazillion times on Google image but the physical map is still
different. It felt like efficiency IN YO FACE! Such a huge leap from the local
public transport to the public transport there. Good thing my brother’s
experience navigating through Melbourne metro shortened our time being lost
underground.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gift giving and souvenirs. I live a mundane life and I do
not believe in the practice of gift giving and souvenirs. My concept of these
practices is pretty similar to that of Sheldon Cooper’s. I will not take
initiative of the hassle of estimating what you might like, buying it and wrapping
it in fancy paper with a bow on top, unless, you mean that much to me where I
take it personally to care. On your side, if you like that activity and wish to
surprise me, be my guest, but take note that I expect you to not expect
anything in return other than a thank you and a set of genuinely happy eyes
looking back at you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shopping in Seoul. I had a great time browsing through the
endless racks of clothes, shoes, bags, merchandise and stuffs but to buy them
is a tad tricky. Words of many were that if you ever visit Korea, be sure to
haggle A LOT and stuffs are EXTREMELY cheap. Well, yeah. I heard those, I read
those. But note that they are folks from the US, UK, Europe, Japan, Singapore,
etc but Malaysia. Less from Malaysia. Dude! Do you realize how much we are
losing on our side of currency? To be thrifting on a vacation doesn’t feel
nice. I’d like to be shipping hordes of fashionables back home but we ain’t
rich. We get stuffs for the family, yes, but extras, sometimes we really just
can’t. Well, maybe my dad can, but I can’t. I just can’t anymore.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Falling sick for 3 days. Out of an eight-day trip. Do you
know how that felt? Especially for me, after all my effort researching, my
hopes, my expectation. It was just awful. However, it wasn’t something that can
not be controlled nor foresaw. My disappointment and bitterness could not be
measured with anything before this. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There could be more, but I really don’t wanna be recalling
all this crap anymore. So sister, your words, “<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">白痴,有去相没去</span>”, you are rubbing
salt on my still fresh wounds. It’s uncomfortable. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mock my height and my dressing but this of Seoul, do it
more, and I might just shove a chainsaw up your pathetic ass.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You have been warned.</div>
Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-6336603030728157702012-12-20T23:34:00.001+08:002012-12-20T23:34:49.879+08:00A Day Full of NomsThe eve of armageddon. Nothing really exciting... Well, not like it IS suppose to...but...atleast something right? Oh wells... That just proves nothing is nothing is happening. The gospel hasn't gone out yet. The Lord ain't coming back yet. He is anticipating though. And I shouldn't be slacking.<br />
<br />
Anyways, today was a day full of noms as per title. This blog had been filled with I-can't-see-tomorrow posts that it's getting so bleak and bleary that even I shun it. My procrastination in publishing posts doesn't help either. These are suppose to be 'letters to future me'! What does pathetic posts like such do to future me?! I'm an idiot. Aaand, I am still writing that 3rdwave post. Half a month has gone by... Procrastination at its best!<br />
<br />
ANYWAYS, today was a good day. It was a day of food. Well, not EXTRA-ordinarily good, I've been eating my way to today, but today's noms were different. I've got that feeling I should put something up,<br />
<br />
Vicky, Sui Chin and I, along with two others, we went to Midvalley. Nothing special, but upon arrival we stuffed ourselves with Snowflake-that glorious dessert. NOM! Next, off to Sushi Zanmai. My second take at that chain. Beautiful, beautiful food. I took no photos and have no copies of them either; but they were beautiful. Pleasant to the eye as well to the taste buds. NOMNOM!<br />
<br />
With bloated stomachs, what else to do at a mall if not fashion shopping? Mango's 50% sounds inviting. And there we were, flipping through limp cloth, but Borders next to Zanmai attract me more. Less crowd, better air, less hassle. The way I like it. However, time waits for none. Couldn't have my sweet time there. We have something planned for the night. We have to hurry up. Chop chop through the clothes. But RM9 basic tees at PDI was a steal. Two for me, seven Sui Chin and Vicky a whooping nine! Family.<br />
<br />
Winter solstice's drawing near. Or passed. But who say being in dorm, being late or early restricts us from the tradition? Food tradition to be exact. For me at least. A few items from Carrefour and we're on our way back. Heavy rain upon arrival on dormitory grounds does not hinder me from taking a quick shower and walking over to P3, the block where the others are at.<br />
<br />
What can be called 'our dinner' was all sweets. Almost. Filled glutinous rice balls in soy base, mango pudding to wash it down, cheese franks and cherry tomatoes for greens...or reds. Dinner! Simple yet heart-warming. Over at friends', eating, talking nothingness... Though due to my speech I get ignored a lot but all was good. Better than being in my room, facing the monitor, either assignments or drama. My social life out the window. Senior roomies have course mates all over the dorm; Indian roomie, out or giggling to her phone, singing odd tunes or bringing friends in for chats when you're sleeping. That loud, high pitch Tamil chatter. O-EM-GEE!! Not being racist or anything but it's just her... Why have people in when I'm just next to your bunk trying to turn in early? It's not like you can't see me sleeping... Okay. Imma save it for another entry. Sheesh! Why spoil this?<br />
<br />
Anyways, noms are all good. I think I can just succumb to gluttony-one of the seven deadly sins. Now I understand MinFood relationship. Might consider being a MinFood shipper too. Hah! Stuffing your face in stress, in joy, in hunger... So much reasons to eat! Good food! And it's in abundance too! But my appetite's gonna break my poor dad's back. Not that he's anywhere near but I should to something to eat on my own.<br />
<br />
"To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals" - Benjamin Franklin<br />
Came from a doctor. PhD. Medical? I'm not sure. So he still should know best right? With his wits.<br />
<br />
Peace out.<br />
Denise<br />
<br />
<br />Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-33566882312365110192012-12-04T13:21:00.001+08:002013-10-07T09:54:34.979+08:00Surreal Weekend 2 - Meeting 3rdwave, Brian Joo and AlexanderWho would have thought I'd be meeting 3rdwave, Brian and Xander one day? I wouldn't, although I do hope for it... <br />
<br />
I definitely did not expect that day to come so soon. It was really a pleasant surprise how the events turned out to be-like an early Christmas present. My first, and the awesomest (most awesome). <br />
So I met up with Joy and all throughout the journey to the event venue, we were spazzing, trying to keep our excitement. Well, at least I knew I were. <br />
<br />
We alighted at Kelana Jaya station and had a short walk to a.... ...residential area... It was drizzling. And we weren't sure where were we. Not good... Asked around the shop-lots and no one knew where Plaza Moyang was! Double not good... *sigh* Nevertheless, we kept moving and met a police car. Asked directions, and it happened to be just higher up the slope. We'd never expect Lincolin university to be in the middle of a residential area! <br />
<br />
Got there, bought CDs and were seated at the Vee-Ah-Pee (VIP) seats babeh! Thanks Joy for the quick thinking.<br />
<br />
Flashing lights came on, emcees went up and down, kids from the orphanage did some cool numbers and the stage went dark again. Guitar riffs started playing. The intro to 'I Stand'. Silhouette of a person came striding on stage. The lights came on and there Brian was! Along with pastor Johnny leading the 3rdwave band. They played and sang, and we in the audience just sat back and enjoyed the performance. I didn't have my camera with me so no fuss about capturing the moment. Did try with phone camera though but couldn't get decent stuffs. Better not be bothered and keep the moments printed in the head. <br />
After a few numbers, they all went backstage and surfaced a few moments later. Came in Brian and PJ with some short ments before introducing their last and youngest member on stage. Xander came hopping onto stage with the Gangnam horse dance. He's really into that dance I think cause he just pop into that hopping dance whenever he thinks is appropriate. Cute dude he is. <br />
<br />
The night flew by and soon the ushers went on stage to set up the tables for the AUTOGRAPH SESSION!!! YAY!!! WE GET TO SEE THEM UP CLOSE!!! AND SHINSHIP!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! <br />
Joy and I were churning our brains to how to get a real close shot when they were signing. But when it came to be our turn, with our cameras ready, we were told that no photography were allowed. *sigh* Oh wells... And they wouldn't do name signs either!! T.T *wails* I want a name sign!! *throws tantrum in my head* <br />
<br />
***conti-ed AGES later 7.10.13***<br />
After our turn, we wouldn't give up on getting a good close shot of them so we stood in front of the stage (so much for worship concert huh? Sad...) and glued our eyes and lenses at them. Somehow, I like Brian more that night... So humble... Or Brian changed my perspective of him that night-not that it was bad initially but probably cause he was older? From the first generation of idols? I mean, I entered kpopdom when the 2nd or 3rd generation is at their peek (IF i didn't get the generation timeline wrong...nyways, entered in late 2007 so you know). Xander was cold or distant... Maybe tired? (someone shouted 'excuses' in my head and booed at him...but it's all good. I mind slapped the voice).<br />
<br />
*Things happened during the signing and some memories had faded...but my brian will remember...so I shall not write it out.*<br />
<br />
At the end of the signing, when they are saying their goodbyes, Xander and Brian fooled around...and I was so close to them...got a photo of it... It's in my phone and laptop and facebook... Brain, if this blog is Dear Diary, I'll know it... So I'll skip the details...or till the next time I feel like editing this...probably another year later. <br />
<br />
That's all.<br />
Gnights!<br />
<br />
<br />
Ps. Pardon me for my uncontrolled Virginia Woolf writing.Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-50950559129771586102012-12-03T09:22:00.001+08:002012-12-18T20:30:51.473+08:00Surreal Weekend 1 - Journey of FaithWho knows what's gonna pop up in life? Nobody! Only God knows. And God is good. He's an awesome God!<br />
<br />
So after seeing my previous angry and mad-at-everything-everyone posts, one might thought I'd never see daylight here. Or that was what I thought... But praise the Lord! He is good! <br />
<br />
I couldn't thank Him enough for His arrangement for me. Although to some, especially some saints, it might seem that I am chasing after worldly things... But all throughout this journey, I felt, I was really trusting on Him. <br />
<br />
Firstly, leaving campus and jaunting alone to the heart of the city, I had friends advising me against it. A complex place Bukit Bintang area is. Piercing stares at vulnerable looking targets and I am definitely in that target as gullible as I am. To make it worse, my navigation skills are at the top of the list...in reversal. <br />
Then having an 8 pm show, predicted by the time the session ends, it would be late. Impossible for me to travel alone back to hostel, like it or not, I need to find an accommodation. So I hooked up with Joy, a friend I've met online, and we've known each other for years. Now, who says we can't trust cyber friends? Fandom friends are the best!<br />
<br />
I know you must've started thinking how foolish I am and what a foolish thing I'm doing. Only words exchange through social media sites and texts, Facebook photos and had never met. An idea of a lunatic! Especially with all the cases happening in the world, I still am so naive to put my safely out there, risking to meet them.<br />
<br />
Of course I had my doubts, if not I wouldn't have these sentences, they had been in my head since the beginning. Consulted my friends, my sister... My worries were shown. Was at the verge of giving up on seeing them. But prayer became my courage... Plans were that after the event, I would follow her home, which coincidentally was the week she goes back to her parents place, is where I shall spend the night. I prayed to the Lord that I'd be in good hands, His and theirs... I had nothing else but faith.. I've never felt so vulnerable. I only had Him.<br />
<br />
Now, doubts and worries aside, it was really a blessing how it happened. It was a lazy night where I was taking my zillionth break from my books and reaching for the phone, I chanced upon a giveaway contest by KAvenyou. '25 fastest fingers to share the event photo and tag KAvenyou' wins. I'd never expect myself to be in the fastest 25. Especially not after the slow loading and KAvenyou's status update 'We've found our 25 winners just within 5 minutes!' which was updated 10 minutes ago... What chances do I have? Nevertheless, I still checked out the winners' list out of curiosity. And there I am, number 21 if my memory serves me well... OH WOW! I've won a pair of tickets to see 3rdwave's Ignite Kpop Charity Concert 2012! I was shocked! And surprised! And excited! How could I not be? I'd be meeting Brian Joo and Alexander!!!<br />
<br />
It was just surreal.. =)Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-42438881684055072842012-11-28T00:58:00.001+08:002012-12-17T09:34:30.005+08:00NumbI've been suppressing emotions physically for so long till I feel so foreign to tears. There are times when you let it flow to keep your sanity but I can't even do it now. I envy the girls in dramas where their tears flow as they like. My eyes are just dry. Even with stimulation. Even when my heart is in a confusing mess.<br />
I'm stuck in this numb stupor.Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0Upm Serdang, Upm Serdang2.992001 101.71048tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-39697611628203096592012-11-26T23:51:00.001+08:002012-11-26T23:51:43.662+08:00KKB Bakti Siswa - The Awesomest Thing Ever<p>Imma be REAL frank in this post.. I ain't gonna sensor no shit I'm sayin. Been holding back and biting my tongue for too long. You've fuckking crossed the fuckking line.</p>
<p>First things first. For all you know, a wedding comes only once for a person. Unless you with your 'hak keistimewaan' can do it for another three fucking times. So normally, we only do it once. And I had to miss this witnessing fucking FOREVER!!!!</p>
<p>Now, when you say that Bakti Siswa (baksis) is compulsory for Kokurikulum Berkredit (KKB), I respect your words although we're doing shit during that precious three hours on a Saturday. Kemahiran Insaniah to be taught in a classroom like Moral Studies-does nothing to us expect wasting time. That's just NOT the ways to be teaching these stuffs..! I'm not even sure if these stuffs can be thought like that...</p>
<p>Then I just HAD to be slotted in this class where the megaproject involves going out...FAR.. You couldn't man up and set the date so you had dates changing back and fro. First I thought I had to miss my mid-sem break for this... Well, of course I was glad when I get to go home, but I had my mind prepared to go without! Such mental preparations aren't easy to make for someone as green as me.</p>
<p>Due to this, I couldn't make LOADS of my decisions. Libra are fickle folks but NOT to this extent! I had to keep saying 'hold that spot for me, I can't confirm yet' and shit like that. I've got to tell the bride you know! They have to fuckking plan for how things are gonna go! </p>
<p>The most pathetic thing is that we don't even have a fuckking approval yet! WHATDAFAK!!! So tell me, if eventually we still don't have that approval, are we gonna man up and go ahead or be that fuckking headless chicken and cancel the whole fuckking thing??!! </p>
<p>... ... ...</p>
<p>Well, atleast someone could have warned me I'd have no life for one semester before I sign up for this shit.</p>
<p>M&Ms peace out,<br>
Denise</p>
Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-57076795471044621642012-11-14T14:46:00.001+08:002012-11-14T14:46:25.022+08:00Depressing<div><p>Depressing is when my non-existant waist becomes bulging.. Not a pretty picture...I know.</p>
</div>Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-44581972065761361422012-11-13T23:39:00.001+08:002012-11-13T23:39:35.282+08:00Am I....?<div><p>Am I a lousy friend?<br>
Am I a complainer?<br>
Am I a hub of negative energy for you?<br>
Am I... ...that lousy?<br>
Just, am I?</p>
<p>I am critical.<br>
I am a perfectionist.<br>
I am annoyingly vocal at negative stuffs.</p>
<p>But, I am just shy.<br>
I am just trying to protrct myself.<br>
I am just not letting my emotions flow.</p>
<p>This is my hide... ...I'm just trying to protect myself.</p>
</div>Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-35237483479198143632012-10-26T14:04:00.001+08:002012-10-26T14:04:31.124+08:00Deserted Dorm<div><p>Alone in the dorm room<br>
Doing nothing in particular.<br>
Should be selling those assignments,<br>
But with a head on drugs,<br>
I don't think it's possible.</p>
<p>The best thing about a deserted dorm is the internet speed.<br>
It's not lighting fast but hey, ahead I can see you.</p>
<p>This is a terrible poem<br>
But fuck this shit,<br>
I'm sick!</p>
</div>Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-6073544428275569642012-10-01T11:54:00.001+08:002012-10-01T11:54:28.756+08:00triple cheers?Hip-hip-hurray for uni life. Yay. -_-Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6811028252534476285.post-88360140556561771702012-10-01T11:52:00.003+08:002012-10-26T14:06:50.332+08:00Socializing to social-dying<div><p>My roomie is taking socializing a WHOLE new level.</p>
<p>She JUST WON'T SHUT UP!!</p>
<p>I've got my reasons and way of doing stuffs. JUST FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!</p>
<p>and me wearing contact lens is NOT a FUCKING "WHY?" question!!!</p>
<p>GO FUCK THAT PIE HOLE OF YOURS! DAMMIT!</p>
</div>Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572403956870477965noreply@blogger.com0